Setting Your Kids Up for Success – By Design
Setting Your Kids Up for Success
Together Church | Pastor Nathan Redman
June 15, 2026 | Series: By Design
Thank you for being here with me today. I’m really looking forward to what we have ahead of us.
Our goal: this morning is to see how God’s Word shows us His Design for how we can be better fathers. And, even more specifically, how we can set our kids up for success by
- Knowing God’s Word
- Knowing your kids
- Crafting situations for their success
Now, as with many specially focused messages, there is a plan and intentional audience for this message. Even if your current life era doesn’t align perfectly, you will find that God has at least 2 somethings He wants you to hear today. Don’t worry about taking notes if you don’t plan to remember anything.
Hattie Comment
Our plan for today is as follows:
- Introduce the message
- Background and Story
- Proverbs and Parables
- What we need to change
TPR Comment
Get in the Word
Get to know your kids
Craft intention situations for their success
Story
-Jonah was God’s man–Hands on hips
Can you choose your kid? N…yes. It’s a trick question. Designer babies aside–when God blesses a couple with a child, it is in the power of every parent to intentionally choose that child as well as receive her.
Before Jesus, God spoke through prophets.
God gave him the plan–Hold out right hand
But Jonah chose to ran–Turn to side and rotate left arm up/right down
-God sent a big storm–Claw hands facing down *storm*
- The Storm: It’s a horrible place to live, but a wonderful place to learn.
- Ex. Maria’s burn
But Jonah was a-snorin’–pray hands on tilted head *Snore*
-The sailors offered wishes–pray hands/face lifted
Jonah swam with fishes–big crocodile hand, *omp*
-Prophet Jonah prays–clasped hands
Spit up in 3 days–3 fingers coming from mouth *bwap*
-Jonah is God’s man–Hands on hips, 2 fingers
God gives him the plan–Hold out right hand, 2 fingers
But Jonah didn’t ran–X arms, Turn to side and rotate left arm up/right down
-Destroyed in 40 days–Cupped hands on mouth *Shouting*
People change their ways–throw ash on head
But Jonah doesn’t stay–about face
-Jonah starts to cry–shake fist at sky
And he wants to die–hands near throat, tongue out, eyes closed *ehh*
-God provides a lesson–Right hand out, palm up
Crafted just for his son–Right hand out, left hand patting
Jonah starts to pant–wave right hand at face, tongue out *Pant*
God provides a plant–Left hand comes from low to over head
God provides a worm–wiggle right hand with index out
Jonah starts to squirm–Scrunch face, wiggle body
-God’s Final lesson–pulsing right hand #1
Ends with a question–draw question with right hand
Our plan for today:
- Introduce the message
- Background and Story
- Proverbs and Parables
- What we need to change
- Know God’s Word
- Know your kids
- Craft situations for their success
Proverbs & Parables
God is a perfect Father who knows us so well. And He does an excellent job providing the right situations to teach us the things that we need to know.
Each proverb is for every child, but each proverb is not for every situation. We must pray for wisdom.
I know some of you have been waiting for my deep dive on “Spare the rod” and “Train up a child…” (looking at you, Dallas Holm)
Instead, I want to look at Ephesians 6:4. 4 years ago, Pastor Brandon led us through Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. Paul is helping the church see how relationships in the church should look. He says,
Eph 6:4
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
So, there’s something we want to make sure not to do and 2 somethings we want to make sure to do.
Let’s look at what this verse means and talk about some examples. The definitions of the words are pretty straightforward.
Provoke to anger: G3949 “to rouse to wrath, to provoke, exasperate, anger.”
What does that look like?
A short list includes:
- Selfishness
- Laziness (time)
- Favoritism
- Overbearingness
- Trustlessness
Uses of Discipline G3809 “the whole training and education of children (which relates to the cultivation of mind, morals, and care of the body.”
-Does that have protein?
Uses of Instruction G3559 “Calling attention to, i.e. (by implication) mild rebuke or warning:—admonition.”
-Keep your head up; don’t get hit.
Keith Clean example
The solution of understanding both what we should do and what we shouldn’t do is the same: know your children.
- Know God’s Word
- Know your kids
- Craft situations for their success
I was talking with Luke Sauer the other day. He was helping me work on my van. He apologized for how long it was taking to make the repair, but he had just asked God last night to help him gain more patience.
Stories
Greg& Kim
– Keeping home space hospitable, to serve Jesus and angels unaware
– Providing resources for Godly people to spend time with their kids
Stephen &Anna
-The ballad of the beggar’s bag of biscuits.
Brandon
–Ministry Night/Family Night
Lauren
–Regularly stop things that we were doing to go and serve others.
–Needing to serve in the home, and then in the church, and then in the world. This is a biblical concept of Jerusalem, Judea and the uttermost parts of the earth.
Big Walt
–Changing from serving in spite of children to serving WITH children
Jerry
–Christmas goodies & carolling to neighbors and senior living centers as a family
–Bible clubs in elementary schools
–Service projects for families
–Mission trips
Jon
–1 Week, 10yr trip
Hugh
–Pouring concrete foundation as a family
–Necessity is a great teacher.
“In a family, how we approach the need is as important as solving it.”
My parents
–Placing us in various organizations for training, like teaching character in schools
–Reading proverbs every day
Me
–Commitment to take our kids to church, even if I’m not feeling well.
–Commitment to community, though it gets us sick
What we need to Change
Our plan for today:
- Introduce the message
- Background and Story
- Proverbs and Parables
- What we need to change
These stories are not of perfect people, but people just like us who are striving to raise their children in the discipline and admonition of the Lord. None of us get it right everytime, and this is an opportunity to reflect, repent, and grow.
So, what do I need to change this morning?
- Get in the Word
- Get to know your kids
- Craft intentional situations for their success
Do you see you’ve run from the call to set your kids up for success? Our God is a God of second chances.
Have you been provoking your children to anger? Swallow your pride and learn to love.
Have you neglected to train your child in the morals of God’s Word? Schedule time with your family to share what God has been revealing to you in His word.
Are your children lacking instruction in the fear and admonition of the Lord? The wisdom of Proverbs is waiting.
Are you resting on your laurels, retired from raising your own kids? Pick up the mantle, Christian. Find someone to be intentional with, and disciple them!