Sharing Meaningful Relationships – 1 Thessalonians 2:17-3:13
Finding Real Relationships in the Church
Pastor Brandon Werner | Together Church Sermon |
January 26, 2025 | Series: 1 Thessalonians
Jerry: GIVE PASSAGE FIRST. Set up this is ONE LETTER to be read in ONE SETTING. It wasn’t originally taken in pieces. We will read the next section, but we must continue to connect it to the whole.
1 Thessalonians 2:17-3:13
17 But since we were torn away from you, brothers, for a short time, in person not in heart, we endeavored the more eagerly and with great desire to see you face to face, 18 because we wanted to come to you—I, Paul, again and again—but Satan hindered us. 19 For what is our hope or joy or crown of boasting before our Lord Jesus at his coming? Is it not you? 20 For you are our glory and joy.
3:1 Therefore when we could bear it no longer, we were willing to be left behind at Athens alone, 2 and we sent Timothy, our brother and God’s coworker in the gospel of Christ, to establish and exhort you in your faith, 3 that no one be moved by these afflictions. For you yourselves know that we are destined for this. 4 For when we were with you, we kept telling you beforehand that we were to suffer affliction, just as it has come to pass, and just as you know. 5 For this reason, when I could bear it no longer, I sent to learn about your faith, for fear that somehow the tempter had tempted you and our labor would be in vain. 6 But now that Timothy has come to us from you, and has brought us the good news of your faith and love and reported that you always remember us kindly and long to see us, as we long to see you— 7 for this reason, brothers, in all our distress and affliction we have been comforted about you through your faith. 8 For now we live, if you are standing fast in the Lord. 9 For what thanksgiving can we return to God for you, for all the joy that we feel for your sake before our God, 10 as we pray most earnestly night and day that we may see you face to face and supply what is lacking in your faith?
11 Now may our God and Father himself, and our Lord Jesus, direct our way to you, 12 and may the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all, as we do for you, 13 so that he may establish your hearts blameless in holiness before our God and Father, at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all his saints.
INTRODUCTION
What we’re going to talk about today is how to have deep, meaningful relationships with people in the church.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people express their desires or frustrations about this.
I’ve heard people say…
- They just can’t find any deep relationships in the church
- They have been in a church for years but still feel like they don’t really know anyone
- They were leaving a local church because they couldn’t find the kind of relationships they were looking for
Often, the more time passes, the more frustration grows. “I’ve been in small groups for years and still don’t have that kind of close relationship.”
What can we learn about having deep, meaningful, affectionate relationships in the church from Paul, Timothy, and the church of the Thessalonians?
To get what Paul is saying, we have to refresh the story of this letter and why it was written.
Do you remember what made the founding of this church so unique? It was the short amount of time Paul and his companions were able to spend with them before they had to leave. Paul references this part of their story in the first verse of our passage today…
1 Thessalonians 2:17
But since we were torn away from you, brothers, for a short time, in person not in heart, we endeavored the more eagerly and with great desire to see you face to face
Remember, Paul came to Thessalonica and immediately began to share the gospel. He had only been sharing the gospel for a few weeks when sharp division arose between those who believed and the Jews who did not believe.
As a result, heavy persecution flooded this newly founded church. Several of the new members experienced immediate persecution for their faith, and ultimately the church decided to sneak Paul and his companions out of the city under the cover of night to protect their lives.
Now, consider this:
When Paul first arrived in Thessalonica, they were all strangers. They only were able to spend a few weeks together before Paul had to leave. How close could strangers become in just a few short weeks?
Let’s go back to the portion of Paul’s letter we are looking at today to find out.
How did Paul and his team feel about the new believers in Thessalonica after only a few short weeks together?
- “Torn away from you, brothers” in person not in heart
- We endeavor “eagerly” and with “great desire” to “see you face to face”
- We “wanted to come to you—I, Paul, again and again”
- For “you are our glory and joy”
They were only together for a few weeks! But look at the kind of affection Paul had for the people in this church!
Is that even possible? To have that kind of deep, affectionate, meaningful relationship with believers you’ve only known for a few weeks?
This is scripture. We believe it accurately represents the truth. Paul is not lying. He is expressing his sincere feelings for these beloved brothers and sisters.
Wow. That’s amazing… and convicting.
The story continues…
Starting in chapter 3, Paul begins to recap the sacrifices he and Timothy were willing to make because they had such a deep, abiding affection for these believers.
Paul says…
- I personally wanted to come to you so badly, but Satan hindered us.
- I couldn’t take being separated from you any longer.
- Since I couldn’t come personally, Timothy and I decided he would come to you from Athens, just so we could encourage you and help you stay the course, because we knew you were suffering affliction
Wow. Zoom in on that bit about Athens a little more with me.
Paul and Timothy were in Athens, and they agreed that Timothy should leave Paul to go to Thessalonica because they couldn’t bear being separated from these believers any longer.
- Athens was about 300-350 miles away from Thessalonica.
- At the average travel speed of 15-20 miles per day at that time, it would have taken Timothy 15-20 days one way to reach them
- Timothy was exposed to the dangers of travel
- He likely spent several nights camping to make the journey
- Depending on the route, he likely traversed land and sea to reach them
- Paul and Timothy had to use their money to fund this trip
- Paul was “left behind” alone and lost the encouragement and support he had from Timothy
These are incredible sacrifices! All this for Christians they had only known for a few weeks. All these sacrifices were made because they were “affectionately desirous” towards them and couldn’t bear not seeing them any longer.
Timothy did, in fact, reach them and spent some time with them before making the long journey back to Paul. When Timothy came back, he gave a report to Paul.
And Paul received much comfort from this part of Timothy’s report…
1 Thessalonians 3:6
But now that Timothy has come to us from you, and has brought us the good news of your faith and love and reported that you always remember us kindly and long to see us, as we long to see you
Paul was thrilled to hear that this church loved them and longed for them with similar affection.
Isn’t this beautiful?
And isn’t it convicting?
Here we are, the church in America, with so much technology to keep us connected, so much opportunity in this country, and so many more comforts available to us then Paul and these believers ever had; and yet, they shared a bond that might cause many of us to feel envy… and they only knew each other for a few weeks!
How did that happen?
What was it about Paul and these new believers that made their relationship so strong? What lessons can we learn from them that will help us find deep, affectionate, meaningful relationships with other believers in the church?
Paul’s letter gives us three specific answers based on what they shared.
These three answers are emphasized over and over again in these opening three chapters of Paul’s letter.
I’m going to list them for you because, in America, we like lists.
It’s worth noting that Paul doesn’t list them in these first three chapters. That’s not the style of his letters. Often, for the most important messages in his letters, Paul didn’t list, he looped.
If you were here last week, you saw it. When Paul really wanted a main idea to come across, he would state it, talk about it, then come back to it again (and sometimes again and again).
There are three loops in the opening three chapters. These three loops reveal the reason why Paul and these believers shared such a meaningful, deep, affectionate relationship with each other.
What are these three things?
Paul and these believers shared:
- Purpose
- Affection
- Adversity
BODY
Remove one of these three factors from their relationship and it just wouldn’t have been the same. All three of these things contributed to the deeply affectionate relationship they shared in the church.
What can we learn? Let’s look at it. First, they shared…
- Purpose
This is the first loop, so I’m displaying it as a circle. And this was our focus in last week’s message.
The purpose these believers shared was their purpose in God’s mission. Together, they were all looking to Jesus as their example and imitating Him. Their great desire was to imitate Christ so well that they became an example to others.
They lived devoted to the mission of Jesus. Their highest purpose was to believe the gospel, spread the gospel, and make disciples of Christ. They suffered for this mission. Some even died for this mission. Because they were united in this mission, they shared a common purpose together.
This shared purpose was essential to the kind of relationship they shared, but it wasn’t the only factor.
They also shared…
- Affection (as family)
Paul really saw these believers as family, and they really saw Paul as family. This theme pops up over and over again in Paul’s letter to them.
Paul said we came to you gently, “like a nursing mother taking care of her own children.”
Paul also referred to these believers as his children, and to himself as a spiritual father to them. He said, “For you know how, like a father with his children, we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God.”
That’s not all. Throughout his letter, Paul constantly refers to the men he formed relationship with as his brothers. He calls them “brothers” 15 times in this letter!
Again, was Paul lying when he referred to them as family?
Absolutely not. Paul really saw these believers as family. He shared an affection with them like family.
In the back of your mind, how do you view the people in your church? Are they REALLY family?
Sadly, I think most believers feel they could take it or leave it when it comes to relationship with the people in their church. One way this is evidenced is in the modern approach to “church shopping”. Instead of seeing our brothers and sisters around us as family and having a devotion to them like family, we are more interested in the programs and services offered in local churches and how those things might benefit our lives.
This mindset would have been absurd to Paul and to his beloved brothers and sisters in Thessalonica. They couldn’t have imagined viewing church from a service and program perspective. For them, church was family, and they were devoted to their family.
But that’s not all. They shared one more thing in common that caused them to experience this deep desire and affection for one another. They also shared…
- Adversity
Do you know how to make a tree stronger? Expose it to adversity.
- Cut off branches
- Expose it to the wind
Trees grow stronger when they are exposed to adversity. Paul and these believers shared adversity together and their common experience made their relationship very strong.
Paul loops back to adversity in this letter so many times that I won’t list them all again. Here’s one example of this repeated loop from each chapter we’ve covered so far…
1 Thessalonians 1:6-7b
6 And you became imitators of us and of the Lord, for you received the word in much affliction, with the joy of the Holy Spirit, 7 so that you became an example to all the believers
1 Thessalonians 2:14
14 For you, brothers, became imitators of the churches of God in Christ Jesus that are in Judea. For you suffered the same things from your own countrymen as they did from the Jews
1 Thessalonians 3:2-4
2 and we sent Timothy, our brother and God’s coworker in the gospel of Christ, to establish and exhort you in your faith, 3 that no one be moved by these afflictions. For you yourselves know that we are destined for this. 4 For when we were with you, we kept telling you beforehand that we were to suffer affliction, just as it has come to pass, and just as you know.
- Paul was experiencing adversity.
- The believers in Thessalonica were experiencing adversity.
And they shared in that adversity together.
So many people in the church close off others and do not allow them to share in their adversity. Some do this…
- In the name of privacy.
- So they won’t be a burden to others.
- Because they are embarrassed.
Or for many other reasons.
At other times, people decide to open up and share their adversity with others, but others will not enter into their adversity with them. As a result, they are left feeling alone or rejected in their suffering. Some do this because…
- They are insensitive to the suffering of others
- Are self-centered and don’t recognize how others need them
- Can’t be inconvenienced in their own agenda
But Paul and Timothy made incredible sacrifices just to provide a few moments of comfort and encouragement by entering into the adversity of these believers they loved so dearly. They were bonded together by sharing adversity.
CONCLUSION
These three loops have created for us a Ven Diagram that displays the factors that caused Paul, his companions, and these new believers in Thessalonica to share such meaningful, affectionate, and deep relationships with one another.
They shared:
- Purpose
- Affection (as family)
- Affliction
And these three factors explain why Paul was able to honestly say this about his relationship with this church…
1 Thessalonians 2:8
So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us.
Look at this list again. Don’t these things just make sense?
ILLUSTRATIONS:
- My own life – meeting families taking care of kids in crisis
- Military – Hugh Sauer and Naum
- Sports Illustrations
God’s plan is for every believer to have the opportunity to share deep, affectionate relationships with other believers in the church.
The example of Paul and these believers prove that these kinds of relationships can form in the most difficult environments! They were suffering extreme persecution and still sharing deeply affectionate relationships with one another.
At Together Church, we believe that God wants us to do our best to create relational environments where every believe can connect and find relationships like these.
Whether you’re a city-slicker, a southsider, a red-neck, or anything in between, our vision is that you would walk into a small group environment and, within a few weeks, find meaningful, deep relationships with other disciples of Jesus.
The truth is, I could say that some of our small groups share relationships like Paul and the Thessalonians shared and some do not. What we are striving for is that every group would share these relationships and that groups would branch and multiply so that more people can connect.
But here’s the bottom line…
We could create the perfect environment for these relationships to flourish and they could still never form. Why?
Because we can only do our part.
The environment overall was rough for the Thessalonian church, but they still formed these relationships. They are proof that the environment doesn’t have to be perfect for these relationships to grow. What’s needed are genuine believers who share purpose, affection, and affliction together.
And the ultimate aim is for these relationships to lead to discipleship that causes every person in the church to grow up into spiritual maturity in Christ. That’s what these relationships were producing among the new believers in Thessalonica, and that’s what God wants to see happen in every small group at Together Church.
INVITATION
So here’s where the rubber meets the road:
Do you believe God wants you to share deep, affectionate relationships with people in His Church like these believers shared in Thessalonica?
Is that His plan for you?
If it is, are you going to be part of the problem or part of the solution?
Being a small group member doesn’t make you part of the solution. You become part of the solution when you become the right kind of member in a small group.
Will you be a member that shares:
- Purpose those in your group? (imitate the example until…)
- Affection like family with those in your group?
- Affliction with those in your small group?
In almost every church, there’s a core group that shares meaningful relationships like this. They are often united because they are on staff together, in the choir together, or connected to some other ministry area in the church.
Our goal is to make these kinds of relationships an equal opportunity for every believer. That’s why we’ve structured our small groups the way we have. But we could have the perfect plan for the perfect environment and never share these relationships with others.
The difference is YOU.
Will you be part of the solution by being a small group member who shares real-life discipleship relationships with the people in your group?
If you will, I believe you will find meaningful relationships in the church and help others connect to meaningful discipleship relationships in the church, too.