Brandon

Charlie Kirk was known for making these controversial statements to college students on college campuses…

• “Get married.”
• “Marriage isn’t just a life milestone – it’s a calling. God didn’t say, ‘Wait until you feel ready.’ He said, ‘It is not good for man to be alone.’ Get married young; be fruitful and multiply.”

• “Have more children than you can afford.”
• “Having children is more important than having a good career.”
• “Having a family will change your life in the best ways, so get married and have kids. You won’t regret it.”

• “Stay-at-home moms are HEROES; we need more stay-at-home moms in this country, not less.”

Jerry

• “And I would also tell young ladies, you can always go back to your career later, [but] there is a window where you primarily should pursue marriage and having children, and that is a beautiful thing.”

• “Husbands should do everything they can to not force their wives into the workplace.”

• “The media has done one of the most evil things, where they act as if being a stay-at-home mom is not a job. It is the most important task an individual can take. Period.”

• “Strong fathers raise strong children. Strong children build strong nations. Fatherlessness doesn’t just break families, it breaks countries.”

Brandon

Charlie has been labeled a sexist, a misogynist, and a bigot, among other things, for taking this position and sharing his views with college students.

Jerry

It is astonishing to me and some people that are my age that these statements are controversial.  At one time, these ideas based on a biblical worldview formed the foundation of American society.  If you did not agree with these ideas, you were an outlier.  For many in this generation of college-aged young people, what was being an outlier is now the norm.   

Brandon

The percentage of college-aged students in the world that have decided that they are not going to marry or have children is baffling.  There has never been another generation like this one in the history of the world.  What’s happening is unprecedented.    

Jerry

It may be the greatest trick that Satan has played on human beings since he deceived Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden.

BODY

Brandon

This cultural phenomenon did not happen overnight.

How did we get here?

Jerry

The prophet Isaiah said…

Isaiah 53:6

6 All we like sheep have gone astray;

We have turned, every one, to his own way

Because of the fall of man, everyone rejects God’s authority and goes their own way.  Rejecting God’s authority and going your own way is called sin.

Brandon

And as the end of the age rapidly approaches, sin continues to swell. When Paul spoke about what sin would be like in the last days, he said these words to Timothy…

2 Timothy 3:1-2a

1 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. 2 For people will be lovers of self

We are here today because of sin; because people are lovers of self. Sin and the love of self has eroded away biblical worldviews from the foundation of American society.

Jerry

There was not just one sin that caused these social changes.  There were a number of self-loving sins that all came together to form the perfect social storm in this generation of young adults.

And these sins didn’t start with this generation… many started back in my generation, and we are reaping increasingly devastating consequences!

Brandon

Let’s look at this. What are these sins?

1. The acceptance of divorce for any reason.

Jesus addressed the sin of divorce for any cause in…

Matthew 19:1-9

1 Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.

2 And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.

3 The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?”

4 And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’

5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?

6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

7 They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?”

8 He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.

9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”

Jerry

Look at this passage. In verses 4-6, Jesus is quoting from Genesis 2. He said God designed marriage to be a union between one man and one woman for one lifetime. 

Beginning in the 1960’s the rate of divorce to marriage spiked.

One of the reasons for this was the adoption of no-fault divorce laws, or divorce for any cause.

As a result of this sin, marriage was no longer considered sacred in American culture.

Brandon

It makes sense….

Why get married if your marriage is going to end in divorce? That’s the first sin in this perfect social storm. The second is…

2. The normalization of fornication.

Genesis 2:24

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Jerry

God designed marriage for one man and one woman to be one flesh for one lifetime.

God designed the one flesh relationship between a husband and wife to be a sacred experience in marriage that was a continual celebration of their marriage covenant.  The one flesh relationship is a memorial to this sacred covenant.  It is like what communion is to the Church’s covenant union with Christ.

Brandon

In the bible, any form of sex outside of a marriage between one man and one woman is called fornication… and it is immoral. The English word “fornication” comes from the Greek word “porneia”, from which we get our word “pornography”.  Porneia is the perversion of God’s plan.

Jerry

Because God forbids fornication, Paul wrote these instructions to the church at Thessalonica…

1 Thessalonians 4:3-8

3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality;

4 that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor,

5 not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God;

6 that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified.

7 For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness.

8 Therefore he who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who has also given us His Holy Spirit.

Brandon

And in God’s law, God said it was a dishonor to the woman when a single man lied with a single woman. 

Deuteronomy 22:28–29, says:
If a man meets a virgin who is not betrothed, and seizes her and lies with her, and they are found, then the man who lay with her shall give to the father of the young woman fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he has violated her. He may not divorce her all his days.

That code from the law of Moses is almost impossible for this generation to comprehend because fornication has been so normalized in our culture. We do not see the one-flesh act being performed outside of marriage as the abomination that it is to God.

Jerry

The majority of college age young people in America no longer believe that committing fornication is wrong or that it dishonors a woman.

If that’s the case, why get married when you can satisfy your sensual desires without being married?

That’s the second sin feeding this perfect social storm. And the third is…

3. The rejection of complementary biblical marriage roles and the adoption of radical feminism.

Brandon

It baffles me that this point makes this message the most controversial message I’ve ever preached at Together Church. Talk about God’s plan for marriage roles and many will quickly label you a bigot, misogynist, and sexist. Meanwhile, an entire generation is being robbed of God’s amazing design for marriage and parenting.

Time is limited here. Recently, Rachael and I did a podcast on these roles. We encourage you to listen to that episode and come talk to us if you have questions about this point.

In the Bible, God designed the family to have complementary roles.  The man’s role is to be the provider for the family. 

• He is to provide sustenance for his family.
• He is to provide protection for his family.
• He is to provide spiritual leadership for his family.

The Apostle Paul put it this way to his disciple, Timothy…

1 Timothy 5:8

8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Jerry

The biblical role of the husband is to provide. The woman’s role is to support the man’s role as the provider as his helpmate. God established this role for the wife at the beginning of creation…

In Genesis 2:18, God said…

It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.

Brandon

Because of the rise of radical feminism, the majority of college age women have rejected their role as a man’s helpmate in the family, and men have rejected their role as provider for the family.

If you’re a woman, why get married if you reject even the notion of a man providing for you? And if you’re a man, why get married if you can’t find a woman who wants to be a team and wants you to provide?

Jerry

In a recent 60-minute broadcast on the state of marriage in Japan, the 60-minute crew reported that there are so few young women that want to get married and have children that young men have resorted to adopting virtual wives.  One option that young Japanese men are choosing are life size women dolls. 

Brandon

This is the fulfillment of Paul’s prophecy in real-time. People have become lovers of self. The world has gone its own way. God’s good design is under attack. But marriage was God’s idea. His way is the best way.

There is a fourth underlying sin that is at the root of this departure from God’s design for the family. It is…

4. The tolerance of greed.

Jerry

The lust of greed is a supporting pillar of self-love.

1 Timothy 6:9-10

9 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition.

10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

Brandon

From man’s perspective, having money and things is what makes you rich. This leads to the love of money, which God’s Word calls “greed”. 

From God’s perspective, having children is what makes you rich. The Bible describes the blessing of children with incredible benefits. We’ll just name two!

Jerry

• First, in God’s created order, having children was the reproducing image bearers of God who could become agents of God’s glory on the earth.

Genesis 1:27-28

27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

28 Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

God’s plan for fathers and mothers is to reproduce His image bearers across the face of the earth! Those who love God find it hard to imagine anything that could make them richer than this.

Brandon

• A second benefit in scripture to having children was the creation of a tribe that always had your back.

Psalms 127

1 Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it; Unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.

2 It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows; for so He gives His beloved sleep.

3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.

4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth.

5 Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

God designed the family to be a tribe. When sin doesn’t fracture His awesome plan, the family becomes these people that always have your back. It is a unit established by God with great purpose and incredible benefit! Happy is the man who has many children! Children make a husband and wife rich.

Jerry

And after the fall, having children provided a social welfare program for elderly parents and grandparents. The longer you live, the more you come to appreciate this rich blessing.

Children do not keep you from being rich, they make you rich…

In the Bible, having children is not a hindrance to your greatest ambitions but a fulfillment of your greatest ambitions.

But if your chief ambition is to be financially rich, why get married and have children? You won’t if you believe that having children makes you poor rather than making you rich.

Brandon

This false idea about children is the basis for abortions. Having an abortion is discarding a life that is causing you inconvenience and hardship. Abortion is an act of self-love rooted in a desire to increase personal prosperity and happiness. And because children actually enrich your life, abortion is one of the most scandalous lies the enemy has ever spun.

Paul said this to the church at Galatia…

Galatians 6:7-9

7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.

8 For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.

9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

You cannot sin and win in the long run. 

Jerry

If this generation continues in this current direction of rejecting marriage and having children, it will be normal for the elderly to have no one to care for them when they are my age.  As a result, some prophets in the church are saying this current generation of college age young people will have more deaths by suicide when they are 65-85 than any other generation in the history of our country.

Sometimes we try to avoid suffering by rejecting God’s will, only to be trapped in consequences that causes us to suffer even more.  And we never see it coming. Satan enjoys causing people to suffer because they followed him.

CONCLUSION

Brandon
It is not difficult to understand why Satan has used the sins of divorce, fornication, radical feminism, and greed to lead this generation in America away God’s design for marriage and family.

Marriage is a living parable of Christ’s love for His bride, the Church.

Ephesians 5:22-6:4

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.

24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,

26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,

27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.

29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.

31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise:

3 “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”

4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

According to God, a godly marriage that embraces God’s design is a living portrait of the gospel. Marriage is the ONLY human relationship in the Bible that is elevated as a portrait of Christ’s relationship with His Church.

When a husband and a wife live in unity, grace, and sacrificial love, they put the gospel of Jesus on display.

Jerry

God’s truth remains: the family is sacred to God.  It was His idea.  He designed it to fulfill His purposes.  And His purposes have not changed.

I had lunch with former OU football player and retired TV 9 sports director Dean Blevins a number of months ago.  He asked me about my family.  When I told him I had 8 children and 12 grandchildren his immediate response was, “you are a rich man!”

At age 70, my greatest wealth in this world is my adult children and our grandchildren. 

I can’t imagine what life would be like without them. 

Just a few weeks ago, my third born son Jacob called me to talk about what the scripture says about the future of the nation of Israel.  

That same week my fifth born son Jeremiah called me on his way home from work to find out how I was doing after my surgery and let me know what was going on with my newest granddaughter Ava. 

Then, my sixth born son William sent us pictures of him, his wife, and our two granddaughters Dakota and Scout having a great time at Lego Land. 

My second born daughter, Mercy, who is a nurse, spent time talking to me about how my recovery was going. 

My oldest daughter Grace sent us pictures of our two granddaughters crafting art, attending school, and playing games. 

Last week, my oldest grandson came over and helped for about four hours with some work around my house. 

Every Wednesday night my four oldest sons and I share life together in a small group that is just like what our church does in small groups.  We have been doing this for over three years. 

On Friday night, I attended a Thunder game with four of my sons, my son in law, and four of my grandsons. 

Last June we spent a week in Colorado with five of my children and seven of our grandchildren.

One of the most meaningful experiences I had before my open-heart surgery was with my granddaughter Debbie.  She is ten years old and is my son Josh’s and his wife Jill’s fourth child.  They named her Debbie Lynn after my late wife Debbie.  Before they took me down to surgery, my small room was packed with my family and friends.  After they prayed for me, the surgical team came in to get me and there were some tears shed as everyone said good bye to me and began to leave the room.  But the most tears shed were from the eyes of my granddaughter Debbie.  It just so happened that because I was lying in a bed that I was at her eye level as they were escorting her from the room.  I can still see her looking back over her shoulder and looking into my eyes as they led her from my room.  She was just sobbing because she understood how serious this surgery was for me.  I cannot tell how loved she made me feel in that moment.  That love made me feel so special and that feeling stayed with me all the way into the surgery room until the anesthesiologist said, here comes the cocktail.  I would not trade that moment with my granddaughter for any amount of money in this world.

And besides my relationships with them, I have been so honored by the difference that my children and grandchildren are making in this world by serving others in various ways.  

My oldest son Josh is now a trustee at OBU and serves on the board of Hope is Alive.  His wife Jill is a teacher at CHA.  They are faithful servants in their church and practice relational discipleship with a small group that has been meeting every week in their home for several years.  They are the pace setters for the rest of our family who are all serving others and making a difference in their own ways.      

I can’t imagine what my life would be like without my children and grandchildren. 

It is true that some people cannot get married or they are not supposed to marry.  If that is God’s plan for you than God will provide your family in a different way.  He did it for Paul.  He did it for Jesus.

There are some married couples that cannot have children or cannot have more children than what they already have.   I would tell those married couples to strongly consider adoption. 

Just think about how rich my wife Saundra has become by adopting through marriage all my children and grandchildren. 

God is really into adoption and it is such a need in our sinful world. 

What I cannot imagine at this time of my life is looking back and knowing that I was so deceived by sin and a trick of the devil that I chose not to marry or chose to marry and not have children.  I would not want to have those regrets and I don’t anyone to have those regrets.

Jesus said in Matthew 7:24–25 that the wise man builds his life on the rock. That rock is the Word of God. Will you build your life on Jesus and His Word?

Will you repent of your sins, reject the deception of the devil for your life, and follow Jesus Christ?
INVITATION – JERRY FINISHES

• Repent of your sins, receive Jesus for the forgiveness of your sins, and follow Jesus.
• The church of Jesus should be an example to the world of God’s design for marriage and the family. The church can be influenced by the culture rather than being the influencers.  Let’s commit ourselves to be examples of God’s design for marriage and the family and be the influencers in our city.