Build a Strong Christian Family – Family

Brandon Werner   -   November 10, 2024

Build a Strong Christian Family

Pastor Brandon Werner | Together Church OKC |
November 10, 2024 | Sermon Manuscript | Series: Family

INTRODUCTION

This week was a historic week in the United States of America. Election weeks like this always are.

I’ve done a lot of reflecting on what I see happening in our nation. I examine the state of things through a lens of Christianity.

And, one of the things I’ve learned to do is to evaluate public policy through the lens of how politics is impacting the family. And recently, one of the most alarming things I’ve seen in our country is an incredible attack on the family.

Satan wants to destroy the family, and he wants to especially destroy the Christian family. God is the author and designer of the family; it was His first social institution in the world. When God made the family, He made it with a purpose: that we would be fruitful and multiply and fill the whole earth with His glory.

When mankind fell into sin, God’s purpose for the family did not change. By His mercy and grace, God acted redemptively to continue to fulfill His purpose of making Himself know through families…

• God used Noah’s family to spare mankind from complete annihilation as He judged the world for sin.
• God used Abraham’s family to establish a new nation through which He would give His laws, His covenants, and His prophets to the world.
• God used King David’s family to establish a line of kings that would rule on the throne forever.
• And God used all three of these family to give us Jesus through Joseph and Mary’s family.

God’s purpose for the family still has not changed! God still wants to use families as a powerful force to spread the gospel, share His truth, and make disciples to the ends of the earth until the end of the age!

And Satan understands that there is stability and safety in strong families. He knows that God uses families as one of the most effective means of passing on truth from one generation to the next. Satan knows that families create a powerful defense that protect our children from his destructive lies.

The family, especially the Christian family, is one of the strongest lines of defense against Satan’s schemes.

As I evaluate these elections and what is happening in our nation, I see many political and social agendas that share something in common: they promote the destruction of the family.

In 1965, Paul Harvey coined the phrase “If I Were the Devil” in popular culture related to politics. That phrase has been on my mind a lot this week in relation to family.

If I were the devil, I would want to destroy the family, because I understand it is a powerful line between me and my agenda.

So, to destroy the family, if I were the devil…

• I would start by convincing people there is no god, that they are their own gods, and that they should be able to do whatever feels right to them.
  • I would tell them they weren’t created for a purpose; but that they evolved from nothing, or something, or we don’t really know what… but definitely not God.
  • This would make family feel more like a social experiment than something God established with divine purpose. Then…

If I were the devil, I’d work to destroy the family by taking over education…

• I’d convince parents that it is the government’s job to raise their children, not theirs.
• I’d remove the Bible and prayer from schools, take God out of the classrooms, and make it illegal for Christian teachers to share God’s truth.
• I would infiltrate the highest levels of learning in society and indoctrinate emerging adolescents with all kinds of sexual, racial, social, and religious perversions.

To destroy the family in our society, if I were the devil…

• I would convince women that they should murder their babies under the banner of healthcare and reproductive rights.
• I would redefine traditional marriage so that it was no longer a sacred union between one man and one woman.
• Then, I would manipulate adolescents who were struggling with self-confidence and trying to make sense of their identity…
  • I would convince them gender is just a social construct and not part of their God-given design.
  • I would tell them that boys can be girls, girls can be boys, and offer as many perverted alternatives as possible.
  • I would convince them that their feelings define their identity and that they can never be happy unless they use severely harmful hormone blockers and literally have their bodies mutilated by doctors.
  • I would tell children that anyone who disagrees with this perspective, including their parents, is their enemy and must be cut out of their lives forever.

If I were the devil, to destroy the family in our society…

• I would divide families over sexist and racist issues…
  • I would label all women as victims and insight women to believe that egregious crimes had been committed against them personally even if they had not. (Like the Me Too movement.)
    • I would undermine the real crimes against women and compromise justice by filling the space with false accusations made by women who had not actually experienced egregious crimes.
    • I would sentence these women to life-long therapy because they think the only people who can understand are therapist who profit from their pain.
    • Then I would convince these women to cut anyone and everyone out of their life who will not agree with their feelings and accusations… even their own families.
    • Again, all this while real crimes against women were actually being committed and the process for justice was being greatly prohibited by this scheme.
  • I would divide families over race. I would label entire groups of people as “racists” and other groups of people as “never-racists” based on the color of their skin.
    • I would convince one group they are helpless racists who must live in constant shame.
    • I would convince other groups they are helpless victims and that justice could never be satisfied for them.
    • And then, I would convince these individuals that those who disagreed with this line of reasoning were the most racist and should be eliminated from their life… especially members of their own family.

If I were the devil, to destroy the family…

• I would tell potential parents, especial Christians, it would be selfish for them to bring children into a messed up world like this one.
  • I would convince them it was in the best interest of society to not have children and to not seek God for the number of children they should have.

If I were the devil, to destroy the family…

• I would go for people’s minds…
  • I would fill the marketplace with self-help books written from a conservative bent with principles that slightly but fatally detoured from the Word of God.
  • I would convince parents they were bad parents if they didn’t get their children unprotected and unmonitored devices.
  • I would get children on social media before they had the maturity to handle it… where they would meet people that would promote my propaganda and encourage them to become estranged from their families.
  • I would take control of the mainstream media and constantly use it as a tool to insight fear and spew my false rhetorics.
  • I would convince Christians they cannot speak on political issues, but then I would allow all other religions and groups to have a voice in politics.

And so, if the family was the strongest line of defense between me and my agenda, I would do whatever I could to destroy the family.

• I would attack the family from every side knowing that nothing less than a full-on assault could ever cause something as powerful as the family to completely crumble.

If I were the devil, those are just some of the things I would do to destroy the family in our society.

So, when I look at politics in America, I look for policies, ideals, and agendas that seek to fractur and destroy the family. Why? Because I know Satan is at work in those plans.

Satan’s schemes are bipartisan. He doesn’t care if it is red or blue, elephants or donkeys. But evil doesn’t get a pass just because it attaches itself to politics. We must pull back the curtain to expose Satan’s activity and help build strong Christian families.

Here’s the good news…

Building strong Christian families that fulfill God’s purpose is not dependent on who is in political power.

Christian families can be strong under Donald Trump or Kamala Harris. Christians have built strong families that fulfill God’s purpose in countries with great peace and countries with incredible injustices and hostilities. Building a strong Christian family is not dependent on who is in political power.

Now, don’t get me wrong! I want to pray and vote and fight for governing leaders who will protect Christian values and increase opportunity for stability and safety for families. But I am so grateful that the strength of families in the church is not tied to politics.

BODY

So, what is a strong Christian family?

A strong Christian family is a family that stands together against Satan’s schemes and works as a team to fulfill God’s purpose for their family.

And what is God’s purpose for the family?

We already said it. God’s purpose for your family is to work together as a powerful force to spread the gospel, share His truth, and make disciples of Jesus.

How do you build a strong Christian family?

The first thing you need to know is you can only do your part.

The second thing you need to know is you must do it. No governing body can legislate that kind of family into existence for you. There is no executive order the president could sign to make that happen in your family. There are no court rulings that could overturn your family’s purpose from being self-centered to being God-centered.

So, how do you do it?

To build a strong Christian family, you must work as a family to put God’s purpose at the center of your family.

Specifically,

1. God’s purpose must be at the center of your marriage.
2. God’s purpose must be at the center of your parenting.
3. God’s purpose must be at the center of your money & time.
4. God’s purpose must be at the center of your habits & purity.

1. God’s purpose must be at the center of your marriage.

In my many years of pastoring, I have asked several young people this question: “Why do you want to get married?”

I’m sure you can imagine some of the answers:

• We love each other!
• We make each other happy.
• He makes me laugh.
• She is so passionate.
• We both have so much fun.

Hey, these are great things for married couples to share! But what’s missing here?

None of these answers have anything to do with God’s purpose for marriage.

Only on a few occasions have I heard Christian young people answer this way:

“We want to get married because we believe we will be more effective at fulfilling God’s purpose for our lives together than we would be apart.”

To build a strong Christian family, marriages must be devoted to God’s purpose: working as a family to spread the gospel, share God’s Truth, and make disciples of Jesus.

If you are married, if you took an honest look at your life, what would you say the purpose of your marriage really is?

• To be happy?
• To have companionship?
• To fulfill the American dream?
• To give your children a better life than you had?
• Or maybe you’re not really sure and you feel like your life and marriage don’t have a lot of purpose.

If you are going to build a strong Christian family, the first thing you need to do is agree with God’s purpose for your marriage and put God’s purpose at the center of it.

What if you’ve been married for years and this hasn’t been your purpose? It is never too late to put God’s purpose at the center of your marriage.

And what if you’re single? Right now is the time to decide that you will only get married if you can find a spouse who will partner with you to work as a team to fulfill God’s purpose for your family.

To build strong families, we must put God’s purpose at the center of our marriages.

2. Put God’s purpose at the center of your parenting.

God designed parenting and every stage of childhood development. He gave children a natural desire for their parents. In His design, God has given parents a limited window of time where their voice, their example, and their leadership carry a unique and profound influence.

This is a gift from God that He expects every parent to steward.

One of the places this is clearest in scripture is in the Shema. In the law of Moses, God told His people exactly what He wanted parents to do with their influence…

Deuteronomy 6:4-9

4 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

God wants parents to use their influence to teach their children the ways of the Lord.

That plan has not changed for those who follow Jesus…

Ephesians 6:1-4

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Parents, God gave you this unique and profound influence to help you train your children in His truths.

That’s why it baffles Rachael and I when we hear Christian parents say things like, “We don’t want to ‘force’ our Christian worldview on our kids, we want them to discover and develop a worldview of their own.”

I get the logic, but this parenting plan is so harmful to Christian families.

Parents, God’s given you the task to make disciples of your children, to teach them all things He has commanded us.

You cannot control the outcome and their choices, but you can control your part. Parents, God wants you to put God’s purpose at the center of your parenting and disciple your children into spiritual maturity.

And what about those who can’t have biological children?

The great news is that God’s call on your life is the same! Even if you cannot be a biological parent, God wants you to be a spiritual parent to others by entering a discipleship relationship with them and helping them grow in spiritual maturity.

3. God’s purpose must be at the center of your time and money.

It is so easy to allow challenges in this life to knock us off center. We can quickly become people who prioritize time and money around our own fears and desires instead of faithfulness to God’s purpose.

Strong Christian families build into their lives these principles that keep them centered on Jesus’ mission…

• We devote ourselves to Christian community.
• We are faithful with our budgets and giving.

My wife has this saying written at the top of her planning markerboard:

“No margin, no mission.”

One of Satan’s great schemes to undermine the effectiveness of the Christian family is to get us to overextend ourselves in the areas of our time and money.

One clear example of this is in extracurricular activities for kids.

My parents lived on mission for Jesus. Today, all four of their children are living on mission for Jesus.

One of the areas they held the line by leading us to put God’s purpose at the center of our time and money was in the area of extracurricular activities.

We had tons of opportunities! But my parents didn’t take them all. They didn’t allow the world (or the begging/manipulating from us kids) to make the final determinations. The final decisions were always made through this lens: how will this help our family fulfill God’s purpose of spreading the gospel, sharing His Truth, and making disciples of Jesus?

If you are going to build a strong Christian family that fulfills God’s purpose, you must prioritize God’s purpose in your time and money.

To start, prioritize these things:

• Don’t forsake the assembly (put group & church at the top).
• Don’t neglect generosity (put church giving at the top).

Its amazing how being faithful with these two starting points will help you develop a lifelong practice of putting God’s purpose at the center of your time and money.

I’ve never heard any children say, “I admire the faith of my parents! They went to church every time it was convenient and gave money when they had some sort of big surplus.” They are watching us.

Parents, grandparents, lead your family to fulfill God’s purpose by putting God’s purpose at the center of your time and money.

What if you are single? Don’t think these principles will magically appear. Instill them into your life now.

4. God’s purpose must be at the center of our habits and purity.

The easiest doorway for Satan to use to attack your family is the compromises you make personally.

Don’t open the door for Satan to attack your family by compromising your purity and engaging in habitual sin.

Instead, instill the right habits into your life; habits that will lead to greater effectiveness in God’s purpose for you and your family:

• Devote yourself to reading God’s Word.
• Devote yourself to the preaching of God’s Word.
• Devote yourself to prayer.
• Devote yourself to caring properly for your physical body.
• Devote yourself to creating a loving, peaceful environment in your home.
• Devote yourself to ministering to the needs of others.

Most importantly, devote yourself to learning how to make disciples of Jesus. Then, disciple your children and set an example for your children by discipling others, too.

To build strong Christian families, we must close the door on sin and destructive habits.

And to our single people…

If you are living in habitual sin now, don’t be deceived: it will not suddenly be resolved when you get married. If anything, marriage will magnify the consequences of sin in your life. Start doing the work of building a strong Christian family today.

CONCLUSION

Do you have a strong Christian family?

There are some in this room who would say yes. There are many more who would say they do not.

But it is never too late.

There’s something every strong Christian family has in common: a chain breaker!

A chain breaker is someone in your family lineage who God used to start turning your family into a strong Christian family.

For example…

• The chain breaker in my family was D. Werner.
• The chain breaker in the Manis family was Ben’s mother, ________.
• The chain breaker in the Small family was Jonathan’s paternal grandmother, ______________.

Strong Christian families share this in common – they all have chain breakers somewhere in their line!

These chain breakers weren’t perfect, but they were saved! They were born again of the Spirit of God. They were changed by Jesus. They didn’t just go to church, they lived by faith, and they led their families to live by faith.

And do you know what all these chain breakers have in common if the God allows them to raise up children who love the Lord?

They all have legacy keepers among their descendants.

Every chain breaker needs legacy keepers in the following generations. No family can thrive on the faith of a parent or grandparent. Every generation must choose to rise up and follow Jesus by continuing to build their lives around God’s purpose.

Which are you?

• Are you a chain breaker?
• Are you a legacy keeper?

If you were honest, have you been being either one?

INVITATION

Rise up! What’s your part? You are either a chain breaker or legacy keeper – and your part matters (biological family & church family).

Take a moment to reflect…

• Are you the chain breaker? Rise up! Get discipled. Learn how to put God at the center of your marriage, parenting, resources, and habits. Be the first to lead your family to follow Jesus! May generations point back to the legacy of faith in your family beginning with you.
• Is there a chain breaker already in your family line? Rise up and be the legacy keeper! Stand on their shoulders. Take what they built and go higher. No family is perfect, but see your family as a gift. Thank your parents and grandparents for their part. Then, put God’s purpose at the center of your family and work together to make disciples of Jesus.

It doesn’t matter what your family looks like today… what matters is your choice. In your biological family, in your church family, will you be a chain breaker or a legacy keeper? Will you raise up others to continue the legacy of following Jesus?

This is the time for your response. (Pastor Seth)

• Remain seated and reflect in prayer for a moment as this song is sung over you, your family, and those you love.

• (During song). Will you rise up? If you will, stand as a sign of your commitment to be a chain breaker or legacy keeper.